As I said on twitter, I am too emotionally unstable to be listening to beautiful music. Bon Iver, Radiohead, Bloc Party, Elliott Smith and Iron and Wine are killing me.
I need to keep hydrated. >_<
-ChesterYaYa
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Envy Within
Your composure.
Your strength.
Your versatility
but mainly, your composure.
Robotic to my mania.
I'm incomparable.
A big round ten to my near existing one.
It's a sad thing,
but it exists.
I'll try to be more, maybe not as close,
but more, indeed.
Your strength.
Your versatility
but mainly, your composure.
Robotic to my mania.
I'm incomparable.
A big round ten to my near existing one.
It's a sad thing,
but it exists.
I'll try to be more, maybe not as close,
but more, indeed.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Free Write: Another Text
Me: Que paso? why the ellipsis?
Person: Oh just because. I thought you looked beautiful.
:D
Person: Oh just because. I thought you looked beautiful.
:D
The little things
The little things make my night.
Simple things, like a manifestation that the money did not go to waste or
texts with sweet words.
Sometimes, beautifully evil people can even make my night.
Little itty bitty things.
They make me smile from ear to ear.
Thanks.
Simple things, like a manifestation that the money did not go to waste or
texts with sweet words.
Sometimes, beautifully evil people can even make my night.
Little itty bitty things.
They make me smile from ear to ear.
Thanks.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Awareness Issue: Banning School Books
"All books and materials of the now forbidden Mexican American Studies classes were seized from the classrooms. This follows the 4 to 1 vote on Tuesday by the Tucson Unified School District board to succumb to the State of Arizona, and forbid Mexican American Studies, rather than fight the state decision.
Students said the books were seized from the classrooms and out of their hands after the vote banning Mexican American Studies, including a book of photos of Mexico. Crying, students said it was like Nazi Germany and they have been unable to sleep since it happened."
All I can say is wow. Seriously?
FUll article --> BANNING OF BOOKS
Students said the books were seized from the classrooms and out of their hands after the vote banning Mexican American Studies, including a book of photos of Mexico. Crying, students said it was like Nazi Germany and they have been unable to sleep since it happened."
All I can say is wow. Seriously?
FUll article --> BANNING OF BOOKS
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Free Write: It Comes and Goes in Waves
Fucking shit. Motheradhsddj. Shit just got real. I hate it when people put their heart out there for me. This wasn't supposed to happen. I'm not Amy. Don't chase me.
-ChesterYaYa
-ChesterYaYa
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Last Resort
It's black and white.
It's a point of view that this time, will get me through.
It's avoiding the thoughts in the attic,
and accepting the terrible antics.
It's what I have left and the only thing I ever had.
It's understanding that half ass, is literally half bad.
It's black and white, and this time, I'll make it right.
It's a point of view that this time, will get me through.
It's avoiding the thoughts in the attic,
and accepting the terrible antics.
It's what I have left and the only thing I ever had.
It's understanding that half ass, is literally half bad.
It's black and white, and this time, I'll make it right.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
Free Write: My First Love
So I'm going through my old things. It's time for some spring cleaning. Over the years I've piled up all these notes and sketches and trivial things. I found some letters from a friend.
I found the notebook of my first love.
I can tell it was him. I remember thinking I was badass because I had a boyfriend. The fact that he was older made added points to my ego. His name is written here & there. Oh and lyrics from this one song he dedicated to me are found etched on the notebook. It's funny how I remember so much from him. Like the bands he encouraged me to continue listening to. Or how we would laugh for hours on the phone. For some strange reason I don't remember much of the pain of the break-up. I thank my brain for that. However I do feel pain when I remember the good times, mainly because they were so quickly taken away from me.
He broke up with me. The details, as in the reasons, are iffy.
I'm just reminiscing right now. We were so good together. Too bad he broke my heart. He's like the guy that I'm meant to be with yet I shouldn't be with. I'm glad I got over him. I really am. I was so in love with him. I remember two years later, after the break-up, I still loved him. And he is totally to blame for the reason I was so mean to myself. He showed me so much and I'm thankful for that. Him and another showed me what I'm worth. I don't love him anymore.
I can talk to him but I can hardly trust him as a friend. It's weird that I went from 100% love to just meh. Well not weird, more amazing, like he said he broke my heart (a few times).
Wow, the shit an old notebook can bring.
-ChesterYaYa
I found the notebook of my first love.
I can tell it was him. I remember thinking I was badass because I had a boyfriend. The fact that he was older made added points to my ego. His name is written here & there. Oh and lyrics from this one song he dedicated to me are found etched on the notebook. It's funny how I remember so much from him. Like the bands he encouraged me to continue listening to. Or how we would laugh for hours on the phone. For some strange reason I don't remember much of the pain of the break-up. I thank my brain for that. However I do feel pain when I remember the good times, mainly because they were so quickly taken away from me.
He broke up with me. The details, as in the reasons, are iffy.
I'm just reminiscing right now. We were so good together. Too bad he broke my heart. He's like the guy that I'm meant to be with yet I shouldn't be with. I'm glad I got over him. I really am. I was so in love with him. I remember two years later, after the break-up, I still loved him. And he is totally to blame for the reason I was so mean to myself. He showed me so much and I'm thankful for that. Him and another showed me what I'm worth. I don't love him anymore.
I can talk to him but I can hardly trust him as a friend. It's weird that I went from 100% love to just meh. Well not weird, more amazing, like he said he broke my heart (a few times).
Wow, the shit an old notebook can bring.
-ChesterYaYa
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Sleepy Wakey
Tears will come when:
Missing the possibility of becoming a unit,
Knowing that the turning of the tide will not come,
Understanding that the stumps that once were wings will never grow back,
It all happens in phases and this is just phase one.
To be afraid of the following footholds is to be wise and above all it is natural.
Let the gifts come.
Phase one will always remain.
Missing the possibility of becoming a unit,
Knowing that the turning of the tide will not come,
Understanding that the stumps that once were wings will never grow back,
It all happens in phases and this is just phase one.
To be afraid of the following footholds is to be wise and above all it is natural.
Let the gifts come.
Phase one will always remain.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
No Tit For Tat
Childish men, trampling the hedges.
Mother has been scarred and the air is filled with fumes of burnt trees.
Even the birds are lost in the ash.
Childish men, murdering the young.
Screams are heard miles around, not even the men's laughter can penetrate the yells.
Hope has been lost.
Stupid, foolish men.
All the beauty is gone.
Men have poisoned the waters, their dreams to make better have rotten the core.
Observation of beauty did not lead to preservation, here all is gone.
Selfish men.
Mother has been scarred and the air is filled with fumes of burnt trees.
Even the birds are lost in the ash.
Childish men, murdering the young.
Screams are heard miles around, not even the men's laughter can penetrate the yells.
Hope has been lost.
Stupid, foolish men.
All the beauty is gone.
Men have poisoned the waters, their dreams to make better have rotten the core.
Observation of beauty did not lead to preservation, here all is gone.
Selfish men.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Understanding in a Household
And the hero fell.
They plummeted to their end.
Their life remained.
Their age of triumph, however, was over.
The sun had burnt their wings.
New ones are soon to arrive but for now, the hero could not fly, only hover.
They plummeted to their end.
Their life remained.
Their age of triumph, however, was over.
The sun had burnt their wings.
New ones are soon to arrive but for now, the hero could not fly, only hover.
Free Write: He's Not Superman, clearly
I was watching my end of the year movie marathon. The first three movies were supposed to be the Lord of the Rings trilogy. It was difficult getting through the first one because Dexter was restless and Mommas kept interrupting but I eventually finished it. The night was going pretty good. I was enjoying my movies, and my Dad said a nice thing about my bro and I.
I got this text. It was from my bro's girlfriend asking if I was awake. My brother was drunk. Long story short I had to take care of him. That's not what ruined my night. The friend that brought my brother wasn't sober either. He even tripped when he was leaving and admitted to still being " a little tipsy".
See the problem is that I use to look up to my brother. If a class prompt asked "who do you look up to" I would write about him. Today he did something so careless. He let someone who was NOT sober drive around. Oh did I forget to mention that it's been foggy? I just keep thinking that they could have crashed. They could have killed someone. They could have died. They could have killed someone. That is just replayed over and over in my brain.
I am being selfish and hypocritical and stupid but I can't get over it. I've been in the car with someone who has had a few drinks but I'm the sober chick in the passenger seat watching the road, keeping them up, telling them to pull over. There was nobody in that car doing that. Like I said, hypocritical.
Whatever. It's time for me to clean the ground.
-ChesterYaYa
I got this text. It was from my bro's girlfriend asking if I was awake. My brother was drunk. Long story short I had to take care of him. That's not what ruined my night. The friend that brought my brother wasn't sober either. He even tripped when he was leaving and admitted to still being " a little tipsy".
See the problem is that I use to look up to my brother. If a class prompt asked "who do you look up to" I would write about him. Today he did something so careless. He let someone who was NOT sober drive around. Oh did I forget to mention that it's been foggy? I just keep thinking that they could have crashed. They could have killed someone. They could have died. They could have killed someone. That is just replayed over and over in my brain.
I am being selfish and hypocritical and stupid but I can't get over it. I've been in the car with someone who has had a few drinks but I'm the sober chick in the passenger seat watching the road, keeping them up, telling them to pull over. There was nobody in that car doing that. Like I said, hypocritical.
Whatever. It's time for me to clean the ground.
-ChesterYaYa
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