Hell to the Fuck YES!

Thank you!! Thank you!! Totally donating to this cause. Just like the condom with teeth, I hate that this is needed BUT I'm grateful.
Basically new technology has allowed for the detection of the date rape drug through the use of certain materials. Cups and straws will be able to detect if your drink is laced with GHB.  For the full article go here: Drug Rape Prevention: DrinkSavvy

Free Write: On Sandy Hook & Others

The fact that shootings like this continue to happen breaks my heart. My condolences for all those families who have ever lost someone due to any form of violence. To Sandy Hook Elementary you have my warm wishes and love. To those who have ever taken an innocent life, I'm sorry, that wasn't right but nevertheless I'm sorry if whatever plagued you took over. 
Rest in peace butterflies. Rest in peace.

-ChesterYaYa

It's feeling small.
Hopeless.
Fragile.
Weak.

It's feeling muddled in your skin.
Ugly.
Confused.
Uncomfortable.

Everything and everyone is daunting.
Scary.
Intimidating.
Painful.

Hunger will plague you but the urge to consume doesn't exist.
Tired.
Lazy.
Frustrated.


It's realizing things are wrong and being afraid to look at yourself but not having the courage or strength to fight against yourself alone.
It's needing help and being too proud to ask, but mainly being scared of what the others may think if they realize you're not "fine".
It's looking outside, realizing what a beautiful day it is and still remaining in your bed, not even trying to leave.
There is no motivation. There is a desire to seek help and be fixed. There is a desire to magically erase all of it.

It's giving up, still trying and hating yourself for not being able to fix it alone.

I'll just turn away.

Solace can only be brought by terrible actions.
Acceptance of the new will not lead to comfort, turning away will.


The smiles, the giggles, the carless flirting will hurt.
For now, acceptance is impossible.
A promise of a full me repair will occur is out of line.
A promise that acceptance will one day occur is out of line.
A promise of any nature will be a lie.

Denial is not right but it does calm me.

Free Write:

I am not meant for things that matter.
I am the pit stop between the trash and the grand ball.
I will help you make yourself into a better person, but I will be forgotten.
I will fill your life with majestic encounters and beautiful trembles but there will be better.

Don't apologize, I know my place.
Don't pretend that you don't understand.
Years, tears and smiles have led to my understanding.
I am slowly embracing it all.

In the end, I always end the same.

Free Write: I Think I Found It

I've always wanted a tattoo. That being said, I've always wanted the tattoo to be words. I can't imagine pictures, no matter how artistic they can be, to be forever etched on my skin. I find that words are more significant to me, even if I suck at writing.
I've been well, dealing with some "demons". I have yet to get professional help but hey, babysteps. I'm getting there.
I decided to start reading again. I've been watching movies, films and shows. (I strongly believe that there is a difference between films and movies.) Lately I've been watching an incredible amount of tv/movies/films. Consequently, I've been feeling like a fucking zombie so this lead to my decision of reducing my watching time and increasing my reading time. I was originally reading The Canterbury Tales and House of Leaves. Today I was going to continue with more tales but I wasn't in the mood. My anxiety and panic attacks have been easily triggered so for now, I'm avoiding House of Leaves.
I turned to Euripides. While reading Alcestis I discovered an amazing quote.

"And I, because I am your friend and you
are mine, shall help you bear this sorrow, as I should."

It's what I stand for. I think I've found my tattoo. Now, to save up and continue being true to those words.

-ChesterYaYa