Free Write: Hello Down There

It's been a while since I have sat here, wrote something, and then proceeded to publish it. I have written things, published videos on my youtube account but for some reason I have neglected posting anything on this site.
My life went a little downhill for a while. I was scared, worried, nervous, anxious, and basically living in fear of doing anything. I was so afraid of failing that I stopped trying with things, several things.
Today something happened. After weeks and weeks of looking for a job I have finally been hired. My hardwork has finally paid off. Alright, the job is a contract job so I will only be working there for a short time  but that's not what counts. I am ecstatic. I am so happy. I'm not even thinking about the pay, yes it's nice but goodness gracious me oh my. Something has happened. My hard work has paid off. Those nights I spent helplessly typing away and perfecting my resume, those nights I could have been studying or playing with my babies, all those tough times I almost quit, they have all paid off. My determination led to something.

So fellow weary reader, don't give up. Life is a hard and beautiful struggle. I know it is so easy to quit. I have. I have, countless amounts of times, but I also picked my battles. I gave in to losing a few times. Those battles were lost but there were also others waging on. I don't care if it's something others see as small. Maybe getting out of bed and taking your dog for a walk isn't a big deal but for you, for you my weary reader, that could be the biggest battle of all. Keep fighting. It may not all be worth it but I swear parts of it will be. We have to hold on to the hope. We have to hold on to the battles we win and fight harder in the future for those we lost. Keep your head up high.

-ChesterYaYa

Free Write: Words to the Naive

If you ever like someone don't keep it from them. Let them know how you feel. It doesn't matter if you aren't sure how they will react. Tell them. 

If you ever have to question whether you're doing something right then stop immediately. If it doesn't feel right then don't do it. 

If you ever feel torn in two, don't do either of the options. Wait it out as long as possible. 

In life, you will be given several chances to be a fool. It is our responsibility to make sure the important choices aren't mistakes and that we limit out foolish deeds.  

We should always look for the goodness in each other and we should always try our best to base our actions out of the goodness within ourselves. Every life is connected. We're all woven into this land. Our mistakes, our success and our failures, all affect someone else, perhaps a stranger. 

I hope that every day I will be able to rely on myself to do what's right. I've been a fool for too long. 

-ChesterYaYa

Free Write: Panic

I've been drawing the last nightmare. Bits and pieces. I suck at drawing so the fact that my poorly drawn objects are causing my hairs to stand up, is bad. The images in my head still torment me. I instantly begin to feel unwell as soon as I think about them. I think that by drawing them I can accept them. Maybe then I won't be as scared.

-ChesterYaYa