Free Write: Maybe Later

It's 4:55 in the morning. I danced from 9 until 1 with a few breaks. My dad is coming to visit at 11. I am tired and I should be sleeping, but I'm not. Maybe after I finish rolling around in my bed.

-ChesterYaYa

Truth

Amy: Why? Because I'm hot duh!

Brian: Wow, you're pretty full of yourself aren't you?

Amy: No. Look you got to believe you're worth something. I'm not going to be that person waiting around to hear someone say how amazing I am. I already know. Perhaps they don't, but if they want, in time they will. 

D E A D

Dead squirrel.
It just lays there.
It.
No name.  No sex.
Female? Male?
Oblivious.
No knowledge of what it was. What it could have been.
Just dead.

 A day or two ago a truck ran over the skimping squirrel.
People now only pass by it. Not caring of its carcass.
Bones show. Spine. Claws lost.
It's dead.
And we pass by it not knowing it exists.

Dorkasaurus Here

Sooooo...
take me to wonderland because you and me baby are nothing but mammals and the mirrors are gonna fog tonight. :]




If you know what I'm talking about then we deserve to be together.

Free Write: Sickly?

Seriously stomach. You decide to vomit right now? Do you not realize I have only tea in you. This is so not working out.
Stupid vomiting made me loose my rainbow heart sticker.

   And I just saw stars.
-ChesterYaYa

Free Write: Loss and Envy

Just a quick free write. I've been having trouble concentrating and I think the problem is because I haven't been able to "get this off my chest." So here it goes..

I share blood with someone. Said person is someone I love very much and who is probably the only person I know that really knows me. Sadly I feel myself being torn from him. I hardly get to spend time with him or even see him. I want to just be with said person but I can't. I'm being selfish but I can't help it. I don't want to hangout with everybody, just him. I really just want to hangout with him. Just me and him, like the old times.

And I know it isn't going to get better for me. He's in love and pretty soon he will leave. I won't ever get to see him. Ever.

But oh well, they say beggars can't be choosers. Hopefully I come to terms with that in time before he leaves.

I miss my brother. 

-ChesterYaYa

arrival at the gates

oh the happy feelings flooded in
when you passed my sunlit porch
oh such tenderness to see you again
to see your face and embrace you at ease
oh such happy feelings

Free Write: Truths

You keep forgetting that to me, just having alcohol isn't enough, it doesn't make me magically have fun.

          -ChesterYaYa

Dollhouse

this moment was priceless

Topher at his breaking point. This show should have never been canceled.

Favorite Monster of all time

optics and air

there's something majestic about the leaves
they move
they actually do sway
they have no music but the music of their own
and they're so precious
so fragile but mighty
they seem so powerful
to construct my brain with leaves would be a beauty
imagine that
leaves for brains

If you love me you'll get me this

chandlertherobot.com

Texting Dad

Me: Hey Dad! There's this man at work who kind of sounds like you and I keep expecting him to say, "Sssister."
Dad: What! It's an imposter.


I love my Dad. ;]

take on me

There's no need.
There's no need.
You already assumed.
I'll just sit here and pretend.
Fine by you? I'll just sit.
Never mind the truth. Never mind me.
I'm the new casualty to your society,
excuse me, our, society.
No need to ask me P.G.P.
No need to ask how I feel.
There's no need at all is there?
Just assume.
Conclusion after conclusion after con..wait..
Yeah that's right.
Straight until proven queer.

If you need any information regarding being an ally to trans individuals or being a trans-individual check out this tumblr.

http://irvinetransresources.tumblr.com/

As told by a friend

"You are rubbing all of these people all in the right places, but not in that way."

            -Jaziel :) 

reminisce

All my precious memories begin here.

Free Write: Misunderstandings

I hate misunderstandings. I fucking hate them. Right now I don't even want to talk to a friend. Yeah you. I don't even want to talk to you and it might even be my fault. I don't remember but even then those words were a cold stab. I'm aggravated and I feel the anxiety rising. I can't even concentrate. Yes, drama queen status.
Part of the reason is because I tried to dismiss the subject yet it was brought back. I just have this thing about body and desire. A couple of times people have seen me as an easy fuck when I've wanted to be more than that so those words hit me hard. Sorry.
Reasons why I can't be with you.  It's more like reason I can't last in a relationship. Fuck shitty ass reason.
I'm a time bomb. All the broken glass around me will cut you.
Excuse me mister/madamm.

-ChesterYaYa

Success

I yearn you.
I want you.
To come back and have you,

would be beautiful, if only,
for a moment.

I desire you.
Can't I have you?
For a day? For a week?
Those fleeting seconds aren't enough.
Please just stay for a day.

Is it not enough?
I weep over your pages. I learn your myths and meaningless trivia.
Is that not enough?
Just stay. One day. One day.

Give me piece of mind.

Because I love her voice :]

"And I hate that I let you down and I feel so bad about it.I guess karma comes back around 'cause now I'm the one that's hurting."      -Jessie J

Una mas

Y otra medicinita para que se paren los nervios y esos malditos pensamientos.
-ChesterYaYa