I'm walking around with a white stained black jacket because my hallmates fail to remove their clothing from the washer.
I get hungry and decide to go to make some Nissin noodles. The stove is layered with oil. Why? I have no clue.
People here are so messy! I'm tired of this shit. Worse part is that I still have about 7 months left in this place. I've never missed home until now. It started about a week ago. Now it's gotten worse.
At first it was just the longing for home but now. Now it's more than that.
I think I'm feeling the way I use to feel. That lingering feeling. I hate to say it but I think I might be in dep. mode again. I'm having these bad ideas again. I look at my pills and my hands go for them. They're just anti-anxiety pills. They're pretty strong for me. One pill causes me to get really tired. My eyes start feeling really heavy. Moving my arms is so easy. They feel so light. That's just one pill. My desire for taking two has become greater. I hate these thoughts because I know they are bad. They're gateway thoughts. I know where they lead and I don't want to go back to that shit but being in this place just makes it worse. I get so angry.
Luckily Walter, Pseudo #1 and my hun make things ten times better.
How much I miss my boy.
Well that was my rant, let's see if I can channel this into a poem. :)
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