I cannot stress this enough. I miss my brother. I miss my mom. I miss my dad. I want to run back home and leave college behind because obviously it isn't working out. I want to fall asleep on my dad's big belly while he reads me some greek literature. I want my mom to hold my hand while my anxiety attacks go crazy. And from my brother? I'm not even sure. I just miss his presence. It's been so long since we've hung out that it feels like years. I want the old times. I want to have my brother teaching me how to skate. I want some tender moment with my brother, but that's hard.
I miss my family. I want them near me. I want them yelling at me, pushing me to be better. I want them nagging at me for leaving the light on. I want them complaining about my attitude. I want them near me.
And I for some reason I don't deserve to go home. I don't deserve their company. I've been lying to them since day one. Thing's aren't "ok". They aren't "alright".
Fuck I miss them so much.
-ChesterYaYa
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